With all due respect to Bill Simmons, here is a running diary I kept for Sunday’s Giants-Falcons game:
12:45 pm – “Hey, Michael Turner isn’t playing today; the G-Men shouldn’t have a problem with this game,” I said while watching the pregame show.
12:55 – DEAD ON impression of Jim Rome by Frank Caliendo in the pregame show. Wow. If you didn’t see it, please go and youtube it. All of his impressions are great, but Frankie really nailed Rome’s habits and pretentious mannerisms. Bravo Frank; I just wish I could stop seeing your failed tv show’s commercials in my nightmares.
1:05 – That first Jacobs run was pretty good; way to fight for the first down. His next touch, not so much.
1:07 — Godammit Eli, you looked like a bitch on that botched-pass fumble.
1:09 — Godammit Eli, why would you throw into triple coverage.
1:13 — OK defense. I’ll take that three-and-out all day. Hell yeah. It’s going to be a long day for the Dirty Birds if the defense plays like this.
1:19 — Way to get your feet down Manningham, nice catch. He’s a great receiver but what I’m most excited about with Manningham is that the Giants finally have a player where fans can use the nickname ‘Super Mario’ with. I’m excited about that, I really am.
1:23 — Danny Ware had a great block on an Eli pass; it’s just a shame that the drive ended with a field goal. It’s been good to see Ware back the past two weeks after getting injured early in the season.
1:31 — I liked the last defensive showing A LOT more than this one, as Jason Snelling (who had a career day) ran seven yards unscathed into the end zone to give Atlanta a 7-3 lead. It looks like it’s going to be a LONG afternoon for the Giants if the defense continues to play like this.
1:40 — 26-yard kickoff return by Hixon, who’s been solid all day. He’s been great for the G-Men for a few years now.
1:44 – Eli is playing well, with a 14-yard strike to Nicks and a 33-yard pass to Super Mario down to the ATL 13. What could possibly go wrong?
1:47 — After Tynes botched a 31-yard FG I start to pen a letter. Here’s what I came up with:
Dear Lawrence Tynes,
I hate you, please drop dead. Thanks, I appreciate it.
The entire New York Giants fan base.
1:50 — “If there’s a person on God’s green earth that is more annoying than Tony Siragusa, I don’t want to know about him/her,” I say to myself as Matt Ryan scrambles for five yards.
1:51 — Boley gets those five yards right back with a sack, his first in four games as a G-Man.
1:55 — Nicks hauls in a 30-yard pass. I have another nickname nomination: ‘Hakeem The Dream’ for Nicks. I know it’s blatantly stolen from Olajuwon, but so is LT (Tomlinson) from LT (Lawrence Taylor). Plus the Hakeems play different sports, so it’s not like it would be that big of a deal. Furthermore, how much can you really do, nickname-wise, with Hakeem? In conclusion I’m submitting the nickname Hakeem The Dream, and from here on out Hakeem Nicks will be referred to as ‘Hakeem The Dream’ on gmenhq. Case closed.
1:56 — Boss notches a 28-yard TD with a great second effort to plow through some defenders. It was his third straight game with a TD…10-7 Giants as the last two receptions on this drive were caught by wide-open receivers.
2:02 — The defense should have had a three-and-out but Chase Blackburn was flagged for holding. Then Cofield was whistled for a foolish late hit. Can things get any worse?
2:06 — Matty Ice converts on a 4th-and-1 as I continue to hate life.
2:09 — The Giants come up with a HUGE stop on 3rd-and-10. Defensive woes? What defensive woes? I never doubted this team for a second. Following the stop, Elam comes through with a bed-shit from 35 yards out. Nice, the Giants aren’t the only team with a bastard kicker.
2:12 — The G-Men punt after a three-and-out, but get the ball back as Osi recovers a fumble on the Falcons’ ensuing drive. Things are starting to look good for Big Blue.
2:20 — Boss’ TD catch with 14 ticks left in the half capped a six-play, 34-yard drive that lasted 1:05 and gave the home team a 17-7 lead at the break.
2:24 — My thoughts at the half: This looks like a new Giants team. Besides a few mistakes here and there the defense is playing great; Eli was playing well; Jacobs was wearing the ATL D down; and if Tynes didn’t botch that kick it would be a 13-point difference.
2:39 — Atlanta’s 23-yard pass on the first play of the second half knocks me back into reality. I was really starting to think the team had moved past this charade of breaking my heart with bone-headed defensive miscues. I guess not.
2:40 — A wide-open Jenkins catches a 28-yard pass on 3rd-and-13. Again with the defense.
2:43 — Snelling cuts it to 17-14 on a one-yard TD run just over three minutes into the third. I’ll take the blame for this one as I jinxed the team like no other at half time. I was already chalking it up as a victory before the third quarter started, and for that I apologize. Please forgive me for I know not what I do.
2:49 — A 51-yard bomb to (the real) Steve Smith into ATL territory causes me to momentarily remove the noose from around my neck.
2:53 – Jacobs punches it in from two yards out to give the Giants a 24-14 advantage with about 8 1/2 minutes left in the third.
2:59 — Holy Christ I hate Tony Siragusa!!! Nobody cares what you think of the new stadium, you fat bastard. If there’s one guy that deserves to choke on his own fecal matter, it’s Goose.
3:05 – Snelling converts on a 3rd-and-1 as the Giants are just itching to give the game away. It’s like they want to lose.
3:07 — Bruce Johnson’s holding call on 3rd-and-10 gives the Falcons a first down on the NY 23.
3:08 — Arguably the dumbest play ever, Aaron Rouse hit Snelling as he was going out of bounds to give the visitors yet another fresh set of downs. Did the entire Giants team moneyline the Falcons or something?
3:14 — Elam’s 25-yarder closes it to 24-17 late in the third. Those three points from the missed Tynes FG would be really helpful right about now. Just saying is all.
3:25 — Super Mario grabs a 27-yard pass.
3:28 — Hedgecock’s three-yard TD catch increases it to 31-17 early in the fourth. I start to breathe a little easier as I say to myself “No worries, how could a team blow a 14-point lead with less than a quarter remaining?” Famous last words.
3:37 — The G-Men allow a four-yard run to Snelling on 4th-and-1…Ho. Ly. Shit. The Giants are going to blow this game.
3:40 — Eric Weems’ four-yard TD catch closes it to 31-24 with 6:01 left to play. I hate to sound like a broken record, but the Giants are itching to give this game away and those three points from Tynes’ missed FG would come in very handy right now.
3:50 — Giants punt, as the Falcons get the ball at their own 24 with just over 3 1/2 minutes remaining. Just kill me now; it would be less painful than watching Big Blue lose their fifth straight in crushing fashion.
3:56 — Gonzalez hauls in a 14-yard catch with 1:23 showing on the clock, as Tuck goes down…Tuck me running.
3:59 — Gonzalez’ six-yard grab moves the ball to the NY 11 with 39 ticks left.
4:00 — T-Gone drops the potential game-tying catch. Thank God.
4:01 — T-Gone atones and grabs the game-knotting score. Have I mentioned how much I hate Lawrence Tynes? Because I really do.
4:06 — The teams head for overtime as I try to recover from that gut punch.
4:08 — Giants win the toss and will receive!!!!
4:12 — Super Mario down to the ATL 23 for 29 yards.
4:13 — Daryl Johnston says, “Don’t do anything to cause a turnover right now.” That’s some sage fucking advice you asshole. Moose is just another retired football player who thinks that his playing days (as good as they were) serve as a license to call games. I don’t know if he was just trying to jinx the G-Men because he played for Dallas or if he’s really that much of a peckerhead, but Jesusmotherfuckingchrist get your head out of your arsehole. Listening to Moose and Goose this whole game has done serious damage to my brain.
4:14 — Giants send in the field goal unit as I send for some new underwear. IT’S GOOD from 36 yards out!!!!! Tynes has been forgiven for his sins as the Giants take a 34-31 decision in OT.
4:15 — For the first time since October 11 I crack a victory beer.
I hate to be that guy, but my prediction was a 24-21 Giants win in OT. Regardless, I’m glad the G-Men pulled this one out. They’re just a game behind the Cowboys for the division lead and at 6-4 are in good shape for the Wild Card. Great win G-Men, now let’s get ready to take on the Orange Crush on Thanksgiving on short rest!!!!!!!!