Forsaking its name, the New York Times picked the Colts to win the sequel to Manning Bowl:
"Giants (1-0) at Colts (0-1)Sunday, 8:20 p.m.Line: Colts by 5 1/2Summon the mourners and light the funeral pyres: the Colts lost their season opener. The Texans ran for more than 250 yards against them, injuring the top run defender Bob Sanders in the process, and the Colts’ offensive line was no match for the Texans’ front four. The dynasty is dead! The sky is falling!Yawn. The Colts lost their season opener in 2008 and beat the Jaguars by a hair in 2009. They often look flat at the start of the season. Their run defense is always a little leaky. Sanders is always injured. Despite the loss, the Colts still gained 463 yards of total offense. They may not be as strong as in years past, but that just means the Colts might go 11-5 instead of their usual 12-4 or 13-3.As for Manning Bowl II, here are some conversation stoppers to use if you’re trapped in a boring, superficial discussion about football’s first family:1. “Given the right circumstances, the Huard brothers would have been even better than the Mannings.”2. “If Archie Manning had played for the 1970s Steelers, he’d have won five Super Bowls, but would now be bald.”3. “Eldest brother Cooper is my favorite Manning, because investment bankers are our nation’s real heroes.”4. “I refuse to let my kids read ‘Family Huddle’ (the Manning family’s children’s book) because I find the subject matter too edgy.”5. “None of these Mannings could hold a candle to gunslingin’ Arnie Herber!” Pick: Colts"
And if that wasn’t enough, they also picked against the Jets!
"Patriots (1-0) at Jets (0-1)Sunday, 4:15 p.m.Line: Patriots by 2 1/2A complete list of penalties the Jets did not commit against the Ravens: high-sticking, roughing the statistician, ineligible voter downfield, intentional foundering and excessive celebration. You need to score a touchdown to commit that last one. Stretch those penalty yards along the New Jersey Turnpike, and the Jets could have started the game in the Meadowlands and ended it at Six Flags Great Adventure.Just when you thought the Jets were dysfunctional, along come the emotionally needy Patriots. Randy Moss is still grappling with existential angst, while the owner Robert Kraft and the holdout guard Logan Mankins are trapped in the kind of “you apologize first” argument most people grow out of in junior high. Even Tom Brady has gotten into the act, ripping fans who left early last Sunday, depriving the Patriots of the crowd noise they needed to preserve a 21-point lead. This is what the Patriots are like when they are winning. If the Jets somehow score a touchdown or two, the Patriots’ locker room will sound like an emo concert. Pick: Patriots."