An old adage states, ” a drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
With that thought in mind, maybe Deadspin’s Drew Magary wrote “Why Your Team Sucks 2016: New York Giants“, after an extended happy hour. A happy hour where he rang up a pretty expensive bar bill, perhaps. The article, which was released on August 5, 2016, rips the Giants’ organization pretty much from top to bottom, with a couple notable exceptions.
Now, so everyone does not think that the popular pop culture website is picking specifically on Big Blue, Deadspin is publishing the same piece for every NFL team, so uptight millennials (that’s probably redundant) should hold their powder, and save that 700 word rebuttal for another time.
In terms of the primary targets of Magary’s rant, well, that would be a three-way tie among Ben McAdoo, Eli Manning and Steve Spagnuolo. McAdoo has not even coached a game, yet he shows up in Magary’s crosshairs immediately. “Your coach: Yup. It’s offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo, master of the tight end fade route. You younger Giant fans who missed out on the Ray Handley era are in for a real treat.”
About Eli Manning, he says, “Anyway, the Giants just handed Eli Manning $65 million in guaranteed money this offseason, enough to buy him all the Airheads and tinker toys he could ever want. Has there ever been a more accomplished yet less respected athlete in history?”
Has there ever been a more accomplished yet less respected athlete in history?
Actually, Magary splits the difference with his darts against Manning, as he acknowledges the championships that Eli has won, as well as his durability at the quarterback position, so his commentary actually becomes a left-handed compliment. And moving forward, Magary pulls a tricky multi-task by ripping defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, and praising ex-Giants head coach Tom Coughlin in one motion.
On the Giants’ defensive coordinator, “Spagnuolo has been coasting on whatever is left of his reputation for over a decade now.” And it gets better, “This isn’t how you rebuild a defense. You do it with shrewd draft choices and under-the-radar free agent hits. You don’t do it the Snyder Way, investing a potential $200 million in slightly above average players who have every reason to start sucking, and then leaving Spags—who carries all the authority of a prep school basketball coach—in charge.”
“Spagnuolo has been coasting on whatever is left of his reputation for over a decade now.”
If Tom Coughlin was looking for vindication, well he certainly gets that throughout the better part of Magary’s rant. “Essentially, the Giants rid themselves of Coughlin but kept the majority of their coaching staff intact… the exact OPPOSITE of what they probably should have done.”
Conspicuous by his absence is general manager Jerry Reese, despite the fact that Magary is not a big fan of the contracts handed down to Olivier Vernon, Janoris Jenkins and Damon Harrison. It is hard to tell if that is an oversight, or a purposeful omission.
Spliced into the piece are some interesting visuals: a bathroom fight at MetLife Stadium, Ian Rapoport’s Tweet about the Cullen Jenkins vs. Damontre Moore fight, as well as a personal favorite; video of a flea flicker in the Saints-Giants game from last season.
Giants’ fans surely remember that the great Willie Snead caught one of Drew Brees’ seven touchdown passes on Nov. 1st last season; off of a flea flicker that sucked the now departed Jayron Hosley and rookie safety Landon Collins into thinking it was a running play. Hopefully all the Giants’ fans currently in a bromance with Collins can take a peek, and offer their expert commentary that Spagnuolo was in the wrong defense, Collins was a top run stopper at safety last season or that Cooper Taylor, not Collins, actually blew the coverage while he was borrowing Collins’ jersey.
Absent those excuses, they can resort to my personal favorite excuse, that Collins and most of the defense was miscast and playing out of position last season.
Who knew that J.T. Thomas is actually a cornerback, and Jason Pierre-Paul is really a linebacker? Hopefully Spagnuolo can get everyone into their proper positions this year, so that Collins can stop worrying about carrying this defense.
