A devastating day for the New York metro area turned briefly hilarious on Thursday afternoon, when Kevin Durant requested a trade from the Brooklyn Nets, only for the city of Philadelphia to somehow find a way to give NY Giants fans an unexpected chuckle.
According to Philadelphia’s sports radio callers, KD demanding out of BK could mean only one thing: he’s coming to Philly, the land where his extremely disappointing recent teammate James Harden resides and soaks up cap space. What could go wrong there?!
But it gets better. According to one caller in particular, Durant arriving in Philadelphia is exactly what the Eagles need to fend off Joe Schoen and Brian Daboll and get back to the top of the NFC East.
Behold an amazing WIP call that claims KD’s arrival will change Jalen Hurts and turn him into Philly’s long-term solution. This makes all the sense in the WORLD. I mean, look what Durant did for Daniel Jones when he was still in NYC. The man is a certified quarterback whisperer.
NY Giants can laugh at Eagles fan who wants Kevin Durant to help Jalen Hurts
What exactly … was the goal here? KD sits in the front row at Lincoln Financial Field, Mike Trout to his left, Rocky to his right? Third and long, he calls timeout from Section 110, calls Hurts over, and gives him the pep talk of a lifetime, resulting in a 13-second scramble for an 11-yard gain?
Or maybe Durant’s mystique just … changes the city’s vibes enough to empower Hurts to be all that he can be? Perhaps the caller’s just saying that Durant would be such a massive distraction that the city of Philadelphia would forget about Hurts and the Eagles altogether, allowing him to secretly get paid while underperforming? Who can say?
Regardless, NY Giants fans should be happy that the men behind their franchise have a defined plan for building a foundation and eventually fostering success. In Philadelphia, meanwhile, they’ve assembled a solid roster without a quarterback, and some fan’s best plan for leveling up the position is “trade NBA assets for an NBA superstar”.
Next stop … profit?
No word yet on whether the Phillies trading Aaron Nola could embolden AJ Brown to become a better blocker.