They say timing is everything — for the New York Giants, it might mean a whole lotta nothing. The 1-4 G-Men are limping into a primetime Thursday Night Football party with the Philadelphia Eagles, who are coming off their first loss of the season.
Big Blue has a lot of issues that are unlikely to get fixed right before or during their contest with the Birds. The wide receiver room is rocked, their offensive line is suspect, they can't score points, they're too penalized and undisciplined, and the defense picks and chooses when it wants to show up.
But even with all that going against them, it still might not matter as much as one MetLife Stadium halftime trend that all but guarantees impending doom in front of the masses. Of course, I could only be talking about the Corgis.
Giants all but guaranteed to lose in primetime thanks to a halftime Corgi race
No amount of on-field effort will prepare them for the inevitable — a shellacking at the hands of those Kelly Green-wearing nest lovers — all at the paws of the Corgis.
Related: Saquon Barkley documentary drops bombshell on Giants at worst possible time
The team announced they'll be having a halftime Corgi race for the fans. Unfortunately for Giants fans, the last time they played the Eagles at home and they had a Corgi race at halftime, they let Saquon Barkley run all over them, falling to Philly 28-3.
Doug analytics lays it all out there for the all-but-guaranteed-universally-cosmic defeat:
The last time the Giants had a Corgi race at halftime, Saquon Barkley rushed for 176 yards and his team won by 25 points.
— Doug Analytics (@Doug_Analytics) October 7, 2025
October 20th, 2024
Eagles - 28
Giants - 3 https://t.co/rlr77ywx8D
Woof, that's rough. The math’s simple: (Giants + Eagles) × halftime Corgi race + October = certain New York loss. You don't even need to be a numbers person to understand that math.
Calling it a trend is definitely generous — it's only happened once, but in all seriousness, why wouldn't the team dive a bit deeper into what happened during last season's debacle to see if there was any competitive advantage for either team to shift the scales this go-around?
Feels like oversight... cute, adorable, four-legged oversight.
Head coach Brian Daboll needs a win badly. A loss on Thursday night all but rules out the postseason for the 13th time in 16 years. Now that's a trend. The loss to the New Orleans Saints was brutal, as the schedule only gets tougher from here on out.
Listen, I'm as much of a dog lover as the next person — my cattle dog Cedar is the best ball of terror I could ever ask for — but knowing that the universe works in mysterious ways with these Corgis and still throwing them out there at halftime is a choice. And it's likely not the right one.
It's just a shame that such an objectively legitimate — definitely not ridiculous — trend is going to do the G-Men in, and there's nothing they can do about it.