While hunting down the Infinity Stones to wipe out half the universe, Tommy DeVito famously said, “You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me.” Or maybe that was Thanos. Regardless, the sentiment applies because all roads might somehow lead the New York Giants back to Tommy Cutlets.
Thomas Nicholas DeVito Jr. might play for the New England Patriots now (and have a ridiculously dumb nickname), but I think everyone can agree life’s better when Cutlets are being fried in East Rutherford. And with Jaxson Dart officially ruled out for the rest of the season with a knee injury, the G-Men suddenly have a pretty good reason to bring everyone’s favorite Italian back home.
I’ve already said Big Blue shouldn’t throw away their limited draft capital on a replacement QB, especially with only having five picks in the 2027 Draft. I’m sticking to that, with one very specific and electric and glorious and culturally significant exception.
If New York is going to make a move for a QB, there’s only one call I’m interested in them making.
Tommy DeVito is the only QB worth breaking Giants’ trade rule for
Let’s establish what this wouldn’t be. DeVito isn’t coming back to challenge Dart, although we still don't necessarily know what Dart is. Kidding aside, he wouldn’t even be coming back to necessarily replace Jameis Winston as the team's starter either. ...but it would be so totally awesome if he did.
Regardless, that still leaves a spot in the QB room wide open.
New York has options. Jake Haener is on the practice squad, Brandon Allen spent the offseason with the team, Jimmy Garoppolo is hanging around somewhere, and Joe Milton III could potentially be poached from Dallas without giving up anything.
DeVito is the only QB I’d actually give something up for.
And while most of that is admittedly because I want Tommy Cutlets back in my life, there’s a football argument here, too -- I promise. DeVito has appeared in 12 NFL games with eight starts, completing 65.3 percent of his passes for 1,358 yards, eight touchdowns, and three interceptions. He went 3-3 as an undrafted rookie starter after being thrown into an absolute mess in 2023, so we’ve already seen how he handles being tossed into the blender.
He’s also only 28. This isn’t New York dusting off some 38-year-old who hasn’t played football in a decade **cough, Colin Kaepernick, cough.** DeVito knows the team and wouldn’t create any controversy over whose team this becomes once Dart is back in action.
The Patriots would obviously have to cooperate, and with the Giants already short on 2027 picks, I’m not giving up anything remotely valuable. But if New England is willing to take a late-rounder, maybe in 2028, we can talk.
Tommy Cutlets belongs in a Giants uniform
I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit last year when New York essentially chose Russell Wilson over DeVito. All for three winless starts, too. It's such a shame.
The whole Tommy Cutlets phenomenon was one of the few genuinely fun things about an otherwise miserable decade of Giants football. DeVito went undrafted out of Illinois, came home to North Jersey, and was still living with his parents and eating his mother’s chicken cutlets when he suddenly found himself starting games for the team he grew up right down the road from.
The 28-year-old helped Big Blue rip off three straight victories, creating the football version of Linsanity (for those who remember Jeremy Lin). The pinched-finger celebration was everywhere.
His agent, Sean Stellato, even became a local celebrity. Restaurants were naming food after the guy. MetLife was buzzing again.
He’s currently just sitting behind Drake Maye in Foxborough, getting called "Two Chains," waiting for the Giants to call. The problem is Schoen has a handful of ways to add another QB without giving New England anything, and well-run teams tend to care about stuff like that. Thank goodness Schoen runs this team like—
However, if the Giants are going to send out draft assets on anyone to help get them through the rest of this year, I know who I'm rooting for. Bring Tommy Cutlets home.
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